Bad Week

I wish I could have written more this week, but it’s been rough. I’ve been crying for no reason, practically on cue. I Googled, and it’s a symptom of my severe depression. Someone gave me a compliment the other day and I cried in the car. I thought about how far I’ve come, how I’ve had to do everything on my own, and how I’m actually proud of myself. I thought about how I had the task of “raising” my mother. I thought about how I tried to hide her mental illness. How I spent my first paycheck, on re tiling our kitchen floor, so that it looked like we lived in a “normal” house. How I hid in a corner when she paid with food stamps at the grocery store. I thought about how we hid that we were Jewish. It made me cry to think about all of these obstacles I had battled and overcame, and how I received a compliment, a really nice compliment. Something I wasn’t used to receiving. So I cried.